My dad and I like to watch the tigers together. If you know anything about baseball you'll understand his stupid joke:
Me: "wow cabrera is really good...!"
Dad: "well he's never actually hit a grand slam while the bases weren't loaded... So he's not THAT good. He's also never hit an RBI when the bases were empty."
Me: "oh really? maybe he isn't that go...HEY WAIT A SECOND..wow good one dad"

random proclamations

During a long and loud fight I had with my sister my dad randomly yelled "HEY!! Winter is coming!!!!"
Me: "..what??"
Dad: "you heard me! Now stop fighting cause winter is coming!"

Misunderstanding

Our Internet connection has been super slow at my house over the past few days. Today I was fed up and asked my dad:
"what's wrong with the Internet??"
His response: "hmm I think it might be the sexual predators. That's a major thing wrong with the internet."
Me: "wow dad haha no I meant why is it so slow?"
Dad: "My answer is still sexual predators."

Random Ones

Me: "hannah wants to know if she can get a churro."

Dad: "Suro."
                                                                                                                   

Dad: "R u picking up H and going to la clinique du shot?"

Me: "Yes. Wait she doesn't have her shot card."

Dad: "She can just, how you say, check een? le desk."

Me: "Good french."
                                                                                                                   

Dad: "Your mom is getting u something to drink. Maybe Gatorade. Chocolate gatorade would be awesome."

Yoda

Me: "Could you look into getting a physical therapist for me for this summer? Thx."
Dad: "Sure. Or how about Yoda? Or maybe even Yoga."
Me: "I think yoda will help."
Dad: "Do or do not. There is no try."

Pod

Me: "I'm not the only late one so its all pod!" (obvious spelling mistake for "good").
Dad: "That's pod. I hope u do pod tonight. I'm glad you're pod."

Random

Me: "I'm getting gas mom said you would reimburse me this time."
Dad: "What u talkin bout Willis?"

8,400,000

My sister texted me from her bedroom asking "where is dad? tell him to come up to say prayers with me before I fall asleep". I relayed this message to my father who then replied "tell Hannah I can't put her to bed and say prayers until I reach 8,400,000 points on bejeweled". Okay, dad. Hahahaha. She texted back complaining "wow hes selfish I need to get up early for pony camp. bejeweled can wait." I love my family hahaha.

I Need Lute Lessons

My guitar broke a while ago, so I was going to text my brother to ask if I could borrow his. On accident, I texted my dad instead, asking if I could borrow his guitar. 
Me: "Can I borrow your guitar please?"
Dad: "That's weird. I don't even have a guitar."
Me: "hahaha whoops I meant to send that to David lol"
Dad: "Maybe u want to borrow my ukulele or maybe my lute."
(10 seconds later)
"Oh no wait. I'm going to play my lute."
Me: "Oh well can I use it when you're done?"
Dad: "Absolutely."

Moms Orders

According to the new Michigan driving law, I'm not allowed to drive past 10 pm. Apparently my mom disagrees. "Cud u plz pck me up a candy bar? If you get pulled over after 10 then tell them ur moms orders" hahaha.

Say No to Drugs

My dad decided to text me a few reminders about what I needed to accomplish one day: 

‎"keep your room clean 2mrw. And bathroom. And stretch your legs. And go to shot clinic. And say no to drugs. Except at shot clinic. Luv ya."