Nanny on Sale

How the conversation went at dinner tonight:
Mom: "Maybe we should get a nanny" (joking around with my dad).
Dad: "Haha, yeah we should."
(Meanwhile, Hannah and David were having a separate conversation about whether or not to see Harry Potter 7 in the theater or wait for the DVD).
Hannah: "Just wait, it'll be on sale at blockbuster in a month for 10 bucks."
Dad: (laughing) What!? Blockbusters really lowered their standards if they're selling 10 dollar NANNIES now!"

Jello

Me: (pointing to a package of jello I was making) "Is this the right size?"
Dad: "Your shirt or those pants? Personally I think...."
Me: "NO dad I meant the jello. Thanks though, this is going on my blog."

Soul Surfer

Dad: "How was the movie?"

Me: "It wasn't bad! I liked it. Except when the shark attacked..that was freaky."

Dad: "Ohh you saw that movie? What was it called again.. Shark-Bite-Arm-Off-Girl"? Sharkies Attack?"

Me: "No.. Soul Surfer. Haha."

Camel Shopping

My mom and sister were discussing horse prices at dinner when David randomly chimed in:
"You know what surprises me? How much the average camel costs. I mean...you need half a million dollars if you even want to consider buying one."
Me: "......."
David: "What??"
Me: "I think its more surprising that you actually know how much a camel costs."
David: "I camel shop every week. Duh."

Ice Cream

Me: "Can you save me some ice cream? Make sure Hannah doesn't eat it all!"
Dad: "Ha ha ha slurp lick ha ha."
(separate message a minute later): "..What ice cream?"
hahahaha

Texting Language

Me: "R u guys watching fireworks anywhere?"
Dad: "Mot Reilly. I cam heer sum. I saw sum on tv. W r gioig to do sum of rs in drvwy. We cam sav sum fr u tho."
Me: "Is that english!?"

Dot Dash

Upon listening to a police scanner and hearing morse code, my dad exclaims: "Holy crap!! I just understood that!! Dot dot dash dot dash! Woah!"
Me: "No..dad. Just no."

Cereal Killer

As a result of the recent mass murder that occurred in Grand Rapids, my family was discussing whether or not the murderer would be considered a serial killer or mass murderer.
Me: "I don't think serial killers take their victims all at once, they use more of a strategic and spread out plan. Right?"
Dad: "No you've got it all wrong. A serial killer only kills at breakfast time. Actually....he only kills cereal. Therefore this man is certainly not a serial killer. This didn't happen anywhere near breakfast time."

4th of July

Sarah: "Dad why are you wearing black on the 4th of july??  So un-patriotic."
Dad: "Oh didn't you get the memo? Black is the new red white and blue. I'm chic. I like to follow the latest trends."

Black Beard

We were all watching baseball one night, and my family had some funny things to say about the opposing team's pitcher, pictured above...

Hannah: "Hey dude, Moses called and he wants his beard back!"

Michael: "What is Fidel Castro doing playing major league baseball...!?"

Dad: "AHH ITS BLACK BEARD!"

Centaur

I walked downstairs one evening to come across the most peculiar conversation....
Hannah: "I'm going to marry a horse one day! Just watch!"
Dad: "Oh you can have mini centaurs then!!"
Hannah: "Oooh yeah they'll be sooo cute!"

My mom and I at the same time: "What!?! Ew."